the league of zors: 8/28/11

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Just in time...

Alright gentleman and ladies, it's time to pick divisions.

As the golfing idea went over pretty well, I thought we'd try to incorporate some last-minute NASCAR. Sunday evening in Atlanta is the second-to-last race before the racing "post-season" begins. Lots is at stake for lots of drivers, so it should be a good race.

Anyway, I thought I'd pair you up with a driver and let the outcome pick our divisions for us. Compared to other League of Zors drivers, if your driver finishes in an odd position (1, 3, 5, 7 or 9), you're in the Pauls division. If you've got an even driver (2, 4, 6, 8 or 10), welcome to the Real Pauls.

To pair drivers with teams, I took the top ten NASCAR point leaders and paired them with your place last season, in reverse order. So, Verne doodle gets the leader, Kyle Busch, Balls gets Jimmy Johnson, etc. etc. Here's the entire list:

Hobgoblins: Kyle Busch
The Jimmies: Jimmy Johnson (appropriate, eh?)
Vernon T: Matt Kenseth
Flo: Carl Edwards
Kidney Pie: Kevin Harvick
Lecter: Jeff Gordon
Goonie: Ryan Newman
Dougie Fresh: Kurt Busch
Unforgivable: Dale Earnheart Jr.
Zors: Tony Stewart

If, for some reason, a driver doesn't finish, they'll be added to the bottom of the list in alphabetical order based on their middle name. If they have no middle name or one that starts with the same letter, it will be based on their birthdate. If they have the same birthday, the honorable Flo Knows will get to choose their order, in penance for forgetting in an email chain this week that she, too, gets to do prostate exams. Bet you didn't think that prostate exams would play a part in fantasy football, did you?

Check back Sunday night -- divisions and schedules will be set. Happy college football watching.