Hi hi hi little droogies. We're back for what looks to be another great year of fantasy, as reverent, respectful and productive as always. First off, we got a new fish among us: the lovely Hobgoblins -- a valued owner since the beginning of the league (even before that) -- went and done got married, making the fantasy league run by her ex-boyfriend something of an awkward dinner conversation topic. In her stead, we have found someone who will definitely add to the reverent and respectful communications around the league: Ron Stanley. Here is a picture of Uncle Ron, as he's sometimes called, enjoying an adult beverage with Lecter in the BVIs this summer:
As you can see, the fact that he's drinking what could only be water in his right hand while not even touching the beer in his left -- not to mention, his penchant for hanging out in such effeminate-sounding establishments -- makes him, without a doubt, new fodder to be trampled on like Spaniards in Pamplona. Not pictured is his co-coach and wife, Peggy, whom, even if there were such insolent remarks to describe, one wouldn't dare hazard the wrath. :)
In all seriousness, a hearty welcome to Team Stanley from the League of Zors. We're happy to have you and eagerly await turning all your trash-talk on its head with a lopsided victory over your weak, Colts-filled, farce of a fantasy team. For serious.
Now that we've properly welcomed our greenhorns, let's get down to business. Draft order will be chosen this year by the results of this Sunday's NASCAR race, the Michigan 400. In the video below, you have each been paired with a driver -- the better your driver does, the higher pick you get. Also in the video is the division selection (Team TBD is Ron). Thanks, as always, to C-balls for editing the video and adding humor with his silly, unrealistic statements.
Here're the results:
The Real Pauls
Unforgivable | Denny Hamlin
Kidney Pie | Tony Stewart
Zors | Jimmy Johnson
Dougie Fresh | Kevin Harvick
Ron and Peg | Carl Edwards
The Pauls
Flo | Matt Kenseth
Vernon T. | Kyle Busch
Balls | Jeff Gordon
Goonie | Greg Biffle
Lecter | Kurt Busch
Good luck, drivers and owners. I'll be back once the race is over with the results. In the meantime, mark your calendars: by unanimous decision, the draft is set for
Tuesday, August 28th at
9pm. Lean.
