So i went to Fenway Paaak this weekend...

And I met my man, Dan Uggla. And I got his numba? How ‘bout ‘dem apples?

 

But I lost in fantasy. Doh!

Tonight's Game -- What's at Stake:

Greetings on this fine morning, gentlemen and ladies.  Why is it fine, you ask?  'Cause the Zors are in the playoffs, that's why.  With Matt Forte getting hurt, and Colston staying quiet last night, Matt Stafford saved the -1 Eagles defense and led us to victory.

So, what's at stake tonight, then?  Well, we all know that Dougie Fresh is in, and now at 8-5, the Zors are in.  The remaining two spots, though, are still up in the air.  Unless MJD runs for 500+ yards and 6 TDs, it looks like Kidney Pie will be in with an 8-5 record as well.  This leaves us with one spot left, with the Hobgoblins, Balls and Goon our choices.  Here are the scenarios:

• If the Hobgoblins beat Dougie, she's in.  As it stands now, it's very close, and each team has one player left.  If SD's defense outplays Ryan Matthews by more than 4 points tonight, welcome to the playoffs, Verne.
• If not, though, then Hobgoblins drop to 7-6.  With Balls's win against Unforgivable and his freaking 39 points(!), he's also 7-6, but with over a hundred more points-for, giving him the edge in the tie-breaker.  If I were you, C, I'd be cheering for my dad tonight.
• If, of course, Dougie beats Hobgoblins, C doesn't put up too many more points, and Rooney's beloved Gates not only puts up at least 10 to win against Lecter, but a hundred and fifty more just for kicks, then she'd have the tie-breaker against Balls and would get in.  Good luck with this, Roon -- could it be, is this the first year you're not in the post-season?!?

That's it, ladies and gentlemen.  Most important people to watch tonight:  Ryan Matthews and the Charger's D.  To betray my allegiances, LET'S GO VERNE!  (Yep, that's for you, Balls.)